A Parent’s Worst Nightmare: Are You Prepared for an Emergency?

Everyone talks about how to avoid an emergency situation with your little one (i.e. child-proofing, car seat safety, etc.), but what if an emergency DOES occur? What do we do then?

When I became a parent, I immediately became paranoid that I would lose my child in some way. I didn’t assume it would happen, but I was frightened that it would. If I lost her, how would I go on living my life? Would I quit my job? Would I move? How would Joel and I be able to maintain a relationship when the person we both loved most in this world was taken from us? How would I maintain my faith? How could I laugh again without feeling guilty, because my true happiness in the form of a little girl had left my world? How would anything seem worth living for anymore?

There are so many stories of people who have lost their children who were able to come back to a healthy mindset and live life again while always cherishing the memories they had with their child, but how did they do it? So many focus on being grateful for the time they were blessed to spend with them, but when did they make the switch from overwhelming grief (and possibly even guilt) to laughing at the memory of their little one making silly faces or making up funny songs?

I began thinking of all of this after a horrible incident today. It might not seem much to you, but it really affected me deeply; dispensed me of all of my energy; and resulted in an overwhelmed, exhausted, and emotional momma.

A bunch of friends had just left our house after a really fun, energetic play date. Cora (20-months-old) was on a high and in a great mood. I sat her down for some lunch while I was VERY productive and cleaned the entire after-playgroup mess in only 20 minutes. She only wanted fruit, which made me so happy, because she usually begs me for a bagel or some sort of bread product! When she was finished, I wiped her down, let her wipe her tray up by herself (she loves to clean), and then let her down to play a bit with a cartoon on in the background before nap time.

I sat down at the computer (in an adjacent room, but in eye shot of the living room where she was), and I relaxed for a second. All of a sudden, I heard her make a weird coughing sound. I didn’t look. She did it again, and it sounded really odd, so I looked over. She was staring at me with huge, doe-like eyes. Have you ever made eye contact with a deer and seen the fear in its face? That is what her look reminded me of. Her face was solid red and her hands were up by her mouth. She was panicked. Her coughing became slightly fainter, and I knew her airway was slightly blocked. I immediately ran behind her, lifted her up, and tipped her body at an angle face-down to see if the object would fall out. It didn’t. I thought, ‘I need to call 9-1-1,’ but where was my phone? I had just cleaned the whole house, but I had no recollection of where my phone was. I thought, ‘If my precious baby dies because I couldn’t find my phone, I will NEVER forgive myself!’

The item didn’t dislodge, so I stuck my pinky in her mouth to hopefully sweep it out. I couldn’t feel it, so I decided to do the Heimlich Maneuver. I still had her tipped down. Just before I was going to use my palm to apply thrusts to her back, she swallowed the item and started scream-crying. I asked her, “Did you swallow it?” She sobbed, “Yeah!” I remember seeing her little hard plastic bear figurine on the floor during the play group. It had been right where she was sitting. I asked her, “Was it your bear?” She sobbed again, “YEAH!” I thought, ‘If she swallowed that bear, I can just imagine how it’s little legs are tearing up her esophagus right now. What eternal damage will my lack of attention cause her?’

I ran with her toward the guest room where my youngest was sleeping so that I could put them both in the car and head to the hospital. I couldn’t help but let the pain of what was going to happen there hit me. Would her stomach need to be pumped? Would they do surgery? What did she actually swallow? I had just cleaned! What did I miss?! As I ran to the room to get Benson, she vomited. It went all over me, her, and the floor. I put my hand out, hopeful that the item would come out with the mashed up fruit she had just eaten. On her second vomit, I felt a hard, heavier object. It was a nickel. A nickel! I’m not sure how a nickel got into the middle of the rug. Ugh!

I’m constantly telling Cora to not put anything but food in her mouth, but she has really never gotten over the oral fixation period. Will this incident prevent her from doing this anymore? I’m hopeful. Then the guilt hit. Why didn’t I see that nickel? Why wasn’t I in the same room as her? Could I have prevented this?

When she calmed down, I took her upstairs to change us both. I put her down for her nap hoping both she and I could take some time to relax after that extreme high of negative emotions. I put her down and left her room. It was then that it really hit me. I could have lost my baby. The emotion overwhelmed me. I went into my bedroom and watched her on the video monitor. I never put this monitor on during her nap, but it was accidentally left on today. I watched her play with her stuffed dog in her crib and thanked God that I was fortunate enough to have that peaceful moment admiring her beauty and imagination.

I believe it is so important for parents to share with other parents about struggles, triumphs, tragedy, etc. in efforts to aid one another in our parenting walk. That is why I’m writing this blog post today. So, how can we prevent emergency situations like this one besides the obvious about keeping small things out-of-reach, putting up child gates, installing child-proof locks, etc.? There isn’t much information about this on the Internet, and this is something that can happen to any of us at any time. Please prepare for the worst.

Here’s what I came up with — please submit your ideas in the comments section below so I can add them to this list:

1) Take a CPR/First Aid class that covers the Heimlich Maneuver and includes training for infants up to adults. Refresh your memory on it every once in a while.

2) Require that anyone who babysits your child to have an up-to-date CPR/Heimlich/First Aid Certification.

3) Always be aware of where your phone is and/or have a landline.

4) Always have a plan for transportation. If you share a car with your spouse or do not have a car readily available, find a nearby friend or neighbor who you can call on in case of an emergency.

5) Keep your keys, purse, wallet, and other must-have belongings somewhere consistent and near the door you exit from.

6) Have an action plan that you, your significant other, and whomever else is a caregiver for your child understand and agree upon. The plan should detail what you will do when experiencing an emergency. For example, when will you call 9-1-1 for assistance and/or an ambulance? When will you head to the hospital? When will you just schedule a same-day appointment?

7) Have your older children take a CPR/First Aid class. If you read the link I pasted below (“Boy Scout…”), you’ll see the benefits of this. The recommended minimum age is 9, and it turns out that approximately 86% of 9-year-olds in one study performed it correctly (although, their compressions and breaths were shallower). See the ABC News link for further information.

Please share your stories below and again, share emergency procedure ideas to aid other parents.

Related articles

• Boy Scout saves fellow Havre High School student with Heimlich (billingsgazette.com)
• Infant Choking (MayoClinic.com)

Resources: 

– ABC News, “Should Your Kids Learn CPR?” http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Parenting/story?id=8240127&page=1#.UYwkO-D5gqY