Thank you to Erin Curry Jacobs of Three Ladybugs Photography for sharing her wisdom in this area. As moms, we beat ourselves up so much! Erin brings to light that this habit can cause us to lose precious memories with our children. Let us know how this post makes you feel. Are you a culprit?
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When Darcy asked me to do a guest blog, I wanted to make sure I wrote about something that would be helpful to her clients and followers. As a mom who recently embarked on a journey to get healthy and fit, I thought about what I might be able to offer other moms on their own similar journeys. I asked myself—in respect to photography—what was the one thing could I share with other moms as they work towards a healthier, more fit version of themselves? I thought through a lot of ideas, but kept coming back to one thing:
Take photos with your family now!
This seems like such a simple thing, but it is so hard for so many of us. It’s hard for me, it’s hard for so many of my friends, and it’s hard for a lot of my clients.
As a photographer, I constantly take pictures of my girls. I take professional portraits of them several times a year, and I take way too many candid photos at every event and activity they take part in. It’s not unheard of for me to take 100 photos during a 30-minute ice skating lesson…seriously. I easily have hundreds of photos of each of them in the last year alone, and probably thousands in their short lifetimes. Looking through their photos, there was one thing missing: me! Now, I could blame this on the fact that I am behind the camera most of the time, but that’s just a convenient excuse. Other people have taken photos of my kids with me standing on the sidelines many times. They have even ask me to step in the frame, but I’ve rarely complied. Why is that? If I’m truly honest with myself, it’s because I am afraid of how I will look, what people will think when they see these photos in the years to come, and how I will feel when I look at them. I don’t like how I look and am working to change it. I would prefer not to have that journey documented. So, rather than getting in front of the camera, I hide behind it.
SO, WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?
My kids don’t see the extra pounds I’m trying to shed, the bags under my eyes, the flaws in my skin. They see their mommy. They think I’m beautiful and they tell me so all the time. When they see the few pictures that exist of us together, they don’t see the tummy bulge I despise or the double chin—they see a fun time we had together. Children see love, joy, laughter, and FAMILY.
IN MY WORK:
I often encourage moms to get in pictures at least some of the time. So many have a hard time with this and want me to just photograph the kids. Some have even asked me to take photos of the kids by themselves and the kids with their husbands, but not them. It always amazes me when a mom does this. When I look at her, I don’t see the flaws she’s concerned about. I see a mom playing with her kids between shots, making faces and jokes to get them to smile, comforting them when they’re scared or hurt. I see love. Even more important, her husband doesn’t see the flaws and neither do her children. They see a woman they love, a woman who takes care of them, and a woman who nurtures them. THEY SEE THE MOST IMPORTANT WOMAN IN THEIR LIVES. My hope is that by getting these moms in the photos, they will see it too. But, how can I expect this of them when I don’t expect it from myself?
I JUST NEED ONE MORE MONTH…
Much like the moms I work with, all these years, I have been waiting for this magical time when I will be happy with how I look so I can be in photos with my kids. I keep telling myself that there will come a day when I will feel comfortable in photos and that we’ll take a ton. I recently embarked on a new journey of health and fitness and I am hopeful that day will come, but I’m not waiting for it any longer. I’ve come to realize that by waiting to be in photos until I reach some imaginary point in the future where I am happy with how I look, I am depriving my children of the precious memories I’ve always strived to preserve.
MY RESOLUTION…
Time flies so quickly. Before I know it, they’ll be teenagers; and too quickly after that, adults. When they look back on the overwhelming number of pictures of their childhood, what will they see? What do I want them to see? I want them to see the joy and love in our lives, the happiness in all of the times we are spending together today. I don’t want them to notice that their mom is missing from a huge chunk of our family photos. I don’t want them to wonder where I am or why I’m not in any of the photos of their birthdays, not sitting next to them as they open Christmas presents, not celebrating their accomplishments with them. I want them to have memories of us to share with their own children. So, last Fall I resolved to get in front of the camera more often. This was the first time we had family photos taken since my youngest was born, and only the second time ever. My kids are 7, 6 and 3. We’ve missed so many years, but we will not miss one more.
My hope is that after reading this post, you will do the same. Stop waiting to take photos with your family. You don’t have to go out and get professional family portraits done today, but the next time you’re at a soccer game or gymnastics meet and are taking photos of your proud little one’s accomplishments, hand the camera to someone else and get in the photo with them. Instead of volunteering your husband to help your 1-year-old open presents so you won’t have to be in the photos (don’t deny it, I know at least some of you have done this, I have!), get in there and make some memories. The next time you book a portrait session for your little one’s birthday or milestone, put on some coordinating clothes and get in a few of the photos. Our days are limited, and every second that passes ends a chance you have to preserve the memories your family creates. Don’t lose the opportunity to document each moment and the love you have for your children… now.
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